Daddy's Little Girl

As I celebrated my birthday this past Monday I could not help but look back and reflect on these past 23 years.  I have been truly blessed with amazing parents, Wilfredo Suarez and Shirley Ruiz, and with the most loving family and friends.  I was born and raised in the Lower East Side of Manhattan for a majority of my life and spent my high school years in Poconos, Pennsylvania.  The eclectic lifestyle of NY and the country lifestyle of PA helped shape me into the well rounded person that I am today.  After high school I decided to return to my hometown of NY for college and to also help take care of my paternal grandmother who has Alzheimer's, a disease I have become all too familiar with.  Being back in NY allowed for a relationship to ensue with my childhood crush Joshua Collado who is now the father of my beautiful son Ian Noah Collado, and my future husband.  As graduation approaches itself within a few months, I hope to find a job within my field of Advertising Communications and aspire to be an Account Executive one day.  

Exception To The Rule

As I sit here and write this blog entry I can't help but feel extremely exhausted from my long fun filled weekend of mommy duties! It is truly an amazing experience to have a child and be a mother but it is also extremely exhausting!! All the nights I partied in college could not prepare me for these all-nighters I pull daily.  Besides mastering my multi-tasking skills this past month I have also learned how to sleep on command because I am unsure of when is the next time I am capable of enjoying such a pleasure like sleep.

Taking care of a child is one job, but being a full time student as well seems like an impossible task.  I don't know how my body fines the energy to run to school and be a student after being a full time breast feeding mother to a 28 day old baby boy who is eating and pooping up a storm!  If it wasn't for this motivation to finish what I started for myself, my son and my family I don't know how I would be capable of doing what I am doing now.  One major help that I have is my amazing boyfriend Joshua.  As I sit and visit with friends they all ask me how am I managing school and motherhood and the first thing I say is JOSHUA.  He helps with night feedings and changes so I can get my rest and he also made his work schedule around my school schedule so that he could take care of Ian.  The responses I get are unbelievable! They all can't believe that a guy actually helps his girlfriend take care of their child! I have been told by every mother that the dad never changed a diaper or fed the baby a bottle and I couldn't believe it.  This whole month I thought that this is exactly how it should be for a couple with a new baby and yet the reality is we are an exception to the rule.  Without his help I do not know what I would do, so it got me thinking of all those women who have no help.  I respect them so much more because the job isn't an easy one and the fathers should be there helping their partner, no matter what their relationship status may be. 

As Valentine's Day and my 2 year anniversary with Josh approaches us within the next few minutes I can only count my blessings to know that I am one of the lucky women in the world to be blessed with such a great man like Josh; and even though we are saving all our money for bills and our son the best gift I could receive from him is simply his presence.  The thought of knowing he is here with me, every step of the way is all I can ask for.

2 + 1 = 3

On January 16, 2011 at 6:13 PM my whole life completely changed - 9 months of preparing for this moment did not prepare me at all for how much my life changed.  At exactly 6:13 PM when the doctor placed this little shriveled up crying baby on my chest I could not help but feel a part of my own soul leave me and enter this little body that stared at me with wondering eyes; and even though this was our very first time laying eyes on each other I couldn't help but feel the familiarity within his eyes.  It was as if I have been looking at him my whole life without knowing it.

As happy as I was to meet my son for the first time, I can not put behind the craziness that ensued before his arrival.  My life before Ian Noah was extremely perfect - I had just finished up a great internship at a creative branding firm called Brand Marketers and I was about to begin my senior year of college.  Graduating college has always been a dream of mine and I vowed that nothing would ever come between this dream.  Not only does it mean a lot to me but it also means a lot to my family; I will be the second college graduate from my maternal side (my mother being the first) and one of the very few from my paternal side.  With that being said - once my boyfriend and I found out that I was pregnant I couldn't help but feel excited as well as in a stand still.  A baby with my lovely boyfriend Josh was just want I wanted just not at the moment and the thought of dropping out of school didn't even enter my mind.  From the very beginning I knew that I wasn't going to have a care free senior year as I had hoped but as long as my boyfriend was on board with the plans I knew deep inside that things were going to fall into place. 

Once we saw our creation on our first sonogram all of our fears and concerns left us immediately and we knew no matter what that our cozy number of 2 wasn't complete without this person that was growing inside of me.  My son all of a sudden became a necessary component to our lives.  Once school started I didn't worry about how I was going to manage being pregnant and a full time student, I couldn't worry about morning sickness or being tired because things had to get, not for me anymore but for my child.  Not only did I pass last semester with 4 A's and a B + but I am also the secretary of the Advertising Club and put together various events with my fellow Eboard members.

Now that I proved to those who doubted me that I was capable of finishing up a semester while being pregnant - I must finished what I started 4 years ago.  I have to graduate college now, not only for myself and my family but for this amazing little boy who believes in me.  I want him to grow up knowing that he can accomplish anything that he puts his mind to and I must do that by giving him the best example that I know how.  Graduating college will only be sweeter knowing that I will have my parents, boyfriend and son there to witness it.